Becoming a Peaceful Person


I work with people in many different contexts; family, work, neighborhood, etc. No matter the environment or situation, I usually find some peaceful people. I call them “bulletproof.” The storms of conflict are swirling around them, yet they remain unaffected. How? What do these people possess that others do not? Here are three quick tips on how to experience a more peaceful life.

First Tip: Stress. We all have a stress tank. Some stress is good to motivate and move us forward. Deadlines and finish lines keep us focused. However, too many deadlines in too short of time can leave us over stressed and burned out. I don’t know of any overstressed people who are also at peace. When the stress tank is near full, the next thing tends to overflow the tank in a pretty messy way. How do you empty the stress tank? You must take some things off your plate. If I am Noah and the ark is sinking, I look for the elephants first. People tend to shed the light and easy things. If you want to become more peaceful, disciplining yourself by saying “no” to more things, while also prioritizing current things is essential. Create WHITE SPACE in your life, you know, that space between appointments in your calendar. You will be amazed at how peaceful life can become when you build in space to absorb the extra things each day brings.

Second Tip: Security. People spend a great deal of time worrying and fighting over security. I am thinking of two types of security: financial and relational. When I don’t need to worry about money or relationships, I am at peace. If I can’t pay my mortgage or my marriage is falling apart, then living in a peaceful state is challenging. We cannot control everything around money and relationships, but what we can control, helps us become more peaceful. I can create a plan to increase income and decrease debt. I can take steps to reconcile and restore a relationship. Often, one of the results of mediation is greater security, both financial and relational, for our clients. This gives me a great deal of satisfaction and peace.

Third Tip: Soul. I am simply talking “soul-care” here. I call the soul the epicenter of peace in a person. A peaceful soul gives you an anchor and centeredness when the storms of adversity blow. We will all experience conflict, stress, and loss of security that can create anxiety, depression, and anger. Peaceful people have a centeredness of soul that carries them through the storm. How do you cultivate this type of soul care? It comes from the practice of your spirituality, whatever that may look like for you. For me, it is consistent reading of the Bible, contemplative prayer, fasting, and practicing some other disciplines like solitude, simplicity, and study.

There is much more to consider in becoming a peaceful person. You will find it amazing how your life can change with just the three mentioned in this blog. If you are interested in more, feel free to write me at